written by Emma Arendoski April 2, 2024

Before you make any plans, listen up! These are the top wedding planning questions you need to ask first. And while you’re here, subscribe free for the latest to your inbox.

Planning a wedding has an excitement like no other. There’s the venue, the menu, the theme, invitations, color palette, the season… the list goes on! But before you consider all of these wonderful details, it is important to not lose sight of what matters. You’re getting married!

These wedding planning questions are some of the first decisions you will make together as a soon-to-be-wedded couple. By discussing these top wedding planning questions with your partner, you’ll gain good insight into the type of wedding to have, what extras to include, what to skip, and how much you can realistically afford. Plus, you’ll get to do it all together – which makes it 1000x more fun. 🙂

Here are the most important questions to ask about your wedding BEFORE you start planning. Let’s get started!

wedding questions to ask your partner before you start planning

1. When should we get married?
Before you start planning, getting the proper date is key. There’s a lot to consider when choosing your wedding date, like the weather, holidays, the availability of guests, and the feasibility to pay greater costs during peak wedding season. But don’t let that be the deciding factor: when do YOU want to get married? When does your partner? Decide on a time of year that works for both of you and is enough time to plan your wedding without starting off feeling behind schedule.

If you’re stuck, consider your anniversary date, or the date you got engaged, or something that is meaningful to you as a couple.

2. How many guests will we invite?
Your guest list will determine many things about your wedding including the cost, the venue, the location, and how much you’ll need to allocate in your budget. Decide if you’ll have a large or small wedding; how big are your families? Do you envision a large celebration or a more low-key and small wedding? Decide this first.

3. What is a realistic budget?
How much do you (realistically) want or have to spend on your wedding? Are you paying for the wedding yourselves, or is someone contributing to it? Decide what you can afford, then discuss your answers from guest list in #2. You may be surprised at how far you’ll need to stretch the budget, or perhaps you’re right on target and able to afford having a gigantic celebration!

4. What kind of wedding style do you envision? What should our ceremony be like?
Will it be formal? Semi-formal? Indoors or outdoors? Will the ceremony be religious or non-religious? Will the reception have a modern vibe or be a more traditional celebration? Decide these things together.

► If you get stuck, take this wedding style quiz to help you pinpoint your wedding aesthetic.

invites: adelyn t.
5. Who should officiate our wedding?
And likewise, figure out who should officiate the celebration. If it is a religious wedding, perhaps you have a particular clergy-member in mind; if not, there may be a special person in your life whom may officiate, or you’ll want to find someone locally to officiate. You’ll also want to decide as a couple if you want a more traditional ceremony – or if you want something a bit more modern.

6. Do you want to have a wedding party? Large or small?
Are you planning to ask family or friends to be bridesmaids or groomsmen? How many will you ask? The number of wedding party attendants will increase the size of your guest list and your budget (gifts!) so this is an important wedding planning question to discuss with your partner.

wedding party proposal cards by joann jinks
7. How will we plan? Should we hire a wedding planner?
Who will do a majority of the planning: you? Your partner? You two together? Are you able to make the time commitment to plan, or should you hire a wedding planner?

8. What is one major detail you want to include in the ceremony or reception?
Consider weddings you’ve attended in the past. What is a detail you enjoyed about it, and what do you want to incorporate into your own?

This is one of the best wedding planning questions to discuss with your partner because together you can add in a meaningful detail that will be special to the two of you?

It could be a special unity ceremony, a particular dance, a “in memory of” table set up at the reception, a travel or bucket list style book for guests to fill out for you, a unique guest book, unique entertaining aspect (lawn games, caricature artist, etc.), or something else. Discuss it together!

9. BEST/WORST: What is your favorite thing about being a guest at a wedding? What is your least favorite thing?
What is your favorite thing at a wedding? What is your partner’s favorite thing at a wedding? Make sure these two items – they may be the same thing! – are included in yours.

Likewise, discuss your least favorite thing about weddings. Here is a list of tacky wedding mistakes that may be helpful (avoid them at all costs!)

10. What is one detail you want to be in charge of?
If you have a talent for color coordination and design, and your partner has a skill for crafting the perfect playlist, be in charge of that role. Discuss the decisions together, but ultimately work on your area of expertise. This will make wedding planning more fun for the two of you (and feel like less of a chore). For items that are outside of your wheelhouse, consider hiring a wedding coordinator or delegating the task to family or friends who offer to assist.

11. What kind of food do you envision? Drinks? Dessert?
One wedding planning question to discuss with your partner is the topic of food and drinks. The menu is a necessity, so it’s helpful to get in front of it early on. Do you want a large, sit-down meal? A more casual buffet? A luncheon, dinner, or brunch celebration? Will you have an open bar? What’s on the drink menu? These items are fun to chat about and envision but will also help you to narrow down your budget – and find a caterer who can bring it all to fruition.

12. Where should we go on our honeymoon?
Ah, here’s a fun one: where are you going on your honeymoon? I think many couples forget this part of wedding planning yet it’s so important. They always say, oh, we’ll get to that later, but in reality, that day never comes and you end up skipping the honeymoon altogether. It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant, but it can if you have the budget for it.

Take a trip
The bottom line is you should go somewhere, anywhere, together to celebrate your new marriage, just the two of you. Keep it low-key with a local trip in your hometown, or head a few hours’ drive away to a destination that won’t cost a lot of money. On the flip side, maybe now is a great time to take that trip to Hawaii you’ve always been dreaming of, or whisk each other away to a European excursion or a cruise ship vacation that will be memorable to the two of you.


It doesn’t matter where you go or how much you spend, but that quality time as newlyweds is worth it! This is one of the key wedding planning questions to discuss with your partner.

We’ve covered some of the major questions here, giving you helpful insight into what to discuss with your partner ahead of wedding planning. Once you do this, you’re ready to tackle the majority of wedding planning together. I highly recommend you take these answers go on to the next step:

• How to Plan Your Wedding: The ULTIMATE Checklist [FREE!]

It provides all the insight you need on planning your wedding from start to finish. 🙂

P.S. Be sure to subscribe to Emmaline Bride for free so you get helpful tips, insight, inspiration, and even giveaways sent to your inbox! 🙂 We have fun around here.

Hope it helps!


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